Putting myself first--and why it's not selfish.

This is a lesson I seem to learn and relearn and then learn again. Putting myself first should be easy, right? The selfish, easy approach. Wrong! It's not. It's hard.

Here is what I mean by putting myself first:

I need to have my needs met and myself ready before I can effectively meet the needs of others. It's a simple principle of self-reliance. We cannot help others when we cannot help ourselves. So what are my needs?

1. I need to develop my relationship with God. This is the top priority every day. So really in putting myself first, I am putting the Lord first. When we put Him first, everything else falls into place (see this great talk by President Benson). For me this includes prayer and scripture study, which is most effective when I can sit down and devote a chunk of time to it.

2. I need to exercise. I think I am an addict. I become a crazy person when I do not exercise. For me, exercise is not about my body so much as it is about my mind. Honestly, I just need exercise to keep me sane! Somehow when I exercise I am better able to think and handle the stresses of my day. Plus I reap the added benefits of physical health, like making better food choices throughout the day.

3. I need to be prepared for my day. I need a plan. For me morning prayer helps with this as I think about what I need to accomplish during the day and also as I ask the Lord to help me with the things I am struggling with (see Alma 37: 36-37). As I pray and think about these things I can formulate a plan for the day and little things to focus on--such as enjoying my children in their specific phases, or remembering to praise the good things I see them do, or devoting one-on-one time to each of them that day. And, I'm a list person. Those little checklists make me much more effective!

I prioritize these things for myself, yes, but for the intent that I might be a better wife, mother, friend, and person throughout each day.

I think the key is identifying your needs. What do you need to do to prepare yourself to be the best wife/mother/husband/father/whatever you can be that day? Get those things done to start your day OR plan them at a time you know they will get done. For me, I need to do them first before kids wake up whenever possible. It always means a more effective and happier day--for me, as well as everyone around me!