Ever since I heard this story in 2006, I keep thinking of it random times, and a couple weeks ago I finally figured out why I like it so much.
Recently I attended the funeral of a lifelong friend. His son told a beautiful story of parental patience. When the son was in his youth, his dad owned a motorcycle dealership. One day they received a shipment of shiny new motorcycles, and they lined them all up in the store. The boy did what every boy would like to do, and he climbed up on the closest one. He even started it up. Then, when he figured he had pushed his luck far enough, he jumped off. To his dismay, his dismount knocked the first bike down. Then, like a string of dominoes, they all went down, one after another. His dad heard the commotion and looked out from behind the partition where he was working. Slowly, smiling, he said, “Well, son, we had better fix one up and sell it, so we can pay for the rest of them.” (Robert C. Oaks, The Power of Patience)
This story is about more than just patience. When one of my children makes a mistake, I, the ever-dutiful father, tend to be quick to respond (usually lovingly) with correctional words. Sure, this is good of me because I am helping her understand what she did wrong so she can avoid the mistake in the future. But what a child needs first and foremost when she makes a mistake is . . . comfort. She already knows she did something wrong, and she feels bad about it, so she first needs to know that I still love her and that everything will be okay. Then I can help her process where she went wrong. And she’ll be ready to learn.
But sometimes even that processing part isn’t even necessary. The kid in the story already knew exactly where he went wrong, so his dad didn’t need to say, “Son, I hope this helps you understand that you need to do a better job obeying me.” Instead, the father only comforted him. This requires patience, but, crucially, it also requires an understanding what a person needs most when they make a mistake.
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