After our months-long adventures around the world and across
the country, I was surprised at the number of people who asked for advice about
traveling with kids. “How did you do it?” “What tips do you have?” “How do you
survive the airplane rides?” I think some people were expecting a list of
fabulous activities that kept their children enthralled for hours on end or
something of the sort. But when you are without running water and your room is
swarming with giant ants and your four hungry and over-tired kids are screaming
as the ants crawl up their legs and you don’t have any food…a list of
activities isn’t very useful. What REALLY helped in managing the hard stuff about
travel with kids was our pre-trip mental preparation. We spent some time thinking
about how we were going to handle our kids and deciding on strategies and
mindsets for ourselves BEFORE we left on our trip. And it helped. A ton.
Here are four guidelines we tried to follow:
1. Manage Your Expectations. Things may go wrong, schedules may
be messed up, kids will miss naps, they may vomit or poop all over the
airplane, they may fall on their face, it will be hot, you won’t have food when
you’re hungry, you may not have electricity or water, it will be hard. If you recognize
that things may be a holy mess, then you typically feel quite pleased with how
well everything shakes out! And you don't stress out when the trials do come. Somehow
it helped so much to expect hard things and then just enjoy the adventure!
2. Keep Calm. Once you know that things may be crazy, decide
that when all hell is breaking loose, you will be the rock for your kids to
cling to. Travel is disorienting for kids already, but if mom (or dad) is stressed out,
they feel it even more—and act out even more! Think about yourself and what
will help you remain calm during the chaos ahead of you. For me, it was about
laughing at the craziness and recognizing that I could let my regular schedules
and control go temporarily—and that we’d all be okay in the end.
3. Relax on the Discipline. Yes of course you must help your
kids be respectful, but maintaining a calm and loving parenting style during
travel is really important. They need to feel loved and secure during the
multitude of changes. Teach with kindness and let the little things go,
recognizing that they are dealing with a lot of stress too.
4. Keep Your Kids in the Loop. Tell them what the plans are,
when and where you are going, what you'll do there, how you expect them to act.
Our kids behave much better when they know what to expect throughout the day
and days to come. And most kids are pretty amazing at rising to the high
expectations placed upon them.
These four things really helped us maintain sanity and
happiness as the parents of four little girls (ages 6, 4, 3, 1) during months
of living out of suitcases and in different hotels every day or two without
consistent schedules, sleep, food, or anything “normal” in a foreign country. I
hope they help someone else too. Now go have an adventure!
